15 signs you have emotional intelligence

When emotional intelligence (EQ) first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly held assumption that IQ was the sole source of success.

Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90% of top performers have high emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.

Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know how much you have and what you can do to improve if you’re lacking. You can always take a scientifically validated test, such as the one that comes with the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.

Unfortunately, quality (scientifically valid) EQ tests aren’t free. So, I’ve analyzed the data from the million-plus people TalentSmart has tested in order to identify the behaviors that are the hallmarks of a high EQ. What follows are sure signs that you have a high EQ.

You Have a Robust Emotional Vocabulary

All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36% of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.

People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

You’re Curious about People

It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.

You Embrace Change

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes occur.

You Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Emotionally intelligent people don’t just understand emotions; they know what they’re good at and what they’re terrible at. They also know who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed. Having a high EQ means you know your strengths and you know how to lean into them and use them to your full advantage while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.

You’re a Good Judge of Character

Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness; the ability to read other people, know what they’re about, and understand what they’re going through. Over time, this skill makes you an exceptional judge of character. People are no mystery to you. You know what they’re all about and understand their motivations, even those that lie hidden beneath the surface.

You Are Difficult to Offend

If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. You may even poke fun at yourself or let other people make jokes about you because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.

You Let Go of Mistakes

Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success. It takes refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall down.

You Don’t Hold Grudges

The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.

You Neutralize Toxic People

Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground. Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.

You Don’t Seek Perfection

Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you’ve achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.

You Disconnect

Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the moment. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing yourself offline and even—gulp!—turning off your phone gives your body and mind a break. Studies have shown that something as simple as an e-mail break can lower stress levels. Technology enables constant communication and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. It is extremely difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside of work when an e-mail that will change your train of thought and get you thinking (read: stressing) about work can drop onto your phone at any moment.

You Limit Your Caffeine Intake

Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, and adrenaline is the source of the fight-or-flight response. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re responding to a curt e-mail. When caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your behavior. Caffeine’s long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its sweet time working its way out of your body. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.

You Get Enough Sleep

It’s difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams) so that you wake up alert and clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.

You Stop Negative Self-Talk in Its Tracks

The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that—thoughts, not facts. When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural tendency to perceive threats (inflating the frequency or severity of an event). Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts in order to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook.

You Won’t Let Anyone Limit Your Joy

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.

Bringing It All Together

Unlike your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train your brain by repeatedly practicing new emotionally intelligent behaviors, it builds the pathways needed to make them into habits. As your brain reinforces the use of these new behaviors, the connections supporting old, destructive behaviors die off. Before long, you begin responding to your surroundings with emotional intelligence without even having to think about it.

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.


Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.

Source: https://www.weforum.org





0:00:00 /0:18:44








附: 《焦点对话》节目信箱是jiaodianduihua@gmail.com。欢迎提前就讨论话题提出建议或者发表评论,我们会挑选一些精彩的问题和评论用在节目中。


YouTube链接:焦点对话: 阿里巴巴假货泛滥,马云害惨美国企业?


60 YouTube channels that will make you smarter

Time is finite. Social media and Netflix can all too easily swallow our precious hours. So why not put them to better use on YouTube? Beyond the music, virals and gaming videos, YouTube has many great channels that can teach anyone practically anything.

Here are the sharpest brains. Press play and become smarter!

Spark your curiosity

Vsauce — Amazing answers to questions about our world

In a Nutshell — Animations that make learning beautiful

C. G. P. Grey — Entertaining explanations of politics, geography and culture

Crash Course — Bite-sized science and learning across many subjects

Scishow— Indispensable science news, history and concepts

HowStuffWorks — Your daily curiosity dose that explains the world

Brit Lab — Smart-ass ammunition that’s guaranteed to astound

THNKR — People, stories and ideas that change perspectives

Experiment with the sciences

MinutePhysics— Simple explanations of physics and other sciences

MinuteEarth — Science and stories about our awesome planet

Veritasium — Science and engineering videos by Derek Muller

Numberphile — Maths Mecca that sums up all things numerical

SmarterEveryDay — Exploring the world of science with Destin Sandlin

Periodic Videos — Videos of each element and other chemistry stuff

Sixty Symbols — A physics and astronomy cornucopia of cool

AsapSCIENCE — Weekly doses of fun and intriguing science clips

It’s Okay To Be Smart — We agree!

PatrickJMT — Straight-to-the-point maths know-how

Bozeman Science — A popular high school teacher explains science

Connect with technology

Computerphile — An array of computing and tech videos

The Game Theorists — Over-analysing video games

Extra Credits — Video game design to start your developer career

The New Boston — Tons of great web development tutorials

Expand your mind

The School of Life — Ideas for life through many lenses

BrainCraft — Weekly videos on psychology and neuroscience

Wisecrack — Learn your ass off with witty sketches

PBS Idea Channel — A cultural critique of pop, technology and art

Philosophy Tube — Oliver Lennard “gives away a philosophy degree”

Inspire your creativity

Mark Crilley— How-to-draw videos on almost every topic you can imagine

Draw With Jazza— Tutorials on all forms of visual expression

JustinGuitar— Guitar courses for various styles, techniques and abilities

HDpiano — Learn to play the piano with easy to follow tutorials

Every Frame a Painting — Top-notch and truly fascinating analysis of film

Photo Exposed — Photography tips, techniques and tutorials

The Art Assignment— Artist talks and challenging assignments for yourself

Film Riot— A how-to trip through all aspects of film making

Avoid burning your house down

Grant Thompson — Caution advised with these experiments and life hacks

Crazy Russian Hacker — The daddy of all science experiment channels

Get closer to nature

Earth Unplugged— BBC-produced channel about the natural world

BBC Earth— Jump in and meet your planet

The Brain Scoop — A private tour of The Field Museum in Chicago

Roll with the big boys

ouLearn — The Open University’s rich and engaging learning channel

The RSA — The Royal Society of Arts sets new standards in its field

TED Talks— No list would be complete without TED’s main collection

TED-Ed — Carefully curated and crafted educational videos and animations

Smithsonian — The mighty institution explores the grand questions

Big Think — Exploring big ideas that define knowledge in the 21st century

The Royal Institution — Films and lectures about the natural world

Gresham College — Liberally delivering knowledge through top lectures

Access the archives

British Pathé — Famous newsreels shown within carefully chosen topics

ITN Source— One of the largest historic collections of news footage

AP Archive— The Associated Press, the world’s largest and oldest agency

Nurture the youngsters

Crash Course Kids —For 5th grade scientists, engineers and astronomers

SciShow Kids— Experiments, experts and answers for kids aged 8 to 88

HooplaKidz— Arts and crafts for little ’uns

Dose up on medicine

Sexplanations — Honest answers about sexuality by Lindsey Doe

Healthcare Triage — Answering questions about medicine and healthcare

Kenhub — An engaging and different way to learn human anatomy

Enjoy the unusual

Vi Hart — A “recreational mathemusician” like no other

ElectroBOOM — Successfully discovering the craziness in engineering

Closing words

These channels have been chosen based on a range of factors, such as production value, impact, quality, variety and quantity. In many categories, great channels and incredible niches have been left out, but such is the burden of any editor. See the entire list of 134 nominees here.

If you find this list helpful, please recommend it so that others can benefit!


The 43 best websites for learning something new


一年一度的中国“两会”正在北京召开。本次全国人大和全国政协会议是习近平执政五年的收官之作,也是确定习政府下届任期和中共十九大的铺垫之举,海内外媒体和分析人士高度关注。西方分析称,习近平第一个任期的“成绩单”凸显出中国“体量庞大但浪费严重的经济”必须改革的现实; 习近平在国际舞台上的大胆誓言与五年来的业绩不相符合;中国特色的权钱结合导致的贫富分化正在加速前行。那么,习近平当政五年来,中国的政治生态和社会环境究竟是进还是退?习政权面临的最大风险来自何处?习近平誓言建立的“法制社会”究竟在哪里?

1) 709家属李文足遭死亡威胁,事关公开信? (李文足,709家属、王全璋妻子)
2) 美韩开始部署萨德,开启东北亚巨大不确定性的时代? (邓聿文,朝鲜问题学者)
3) 北京两会见闻 王毅谈美中关系及朝鲜问题 (叶兵,美国之音驻北京记者)



随着2016年美国总统大选的结束以及“后真相时代”的兴起,是时候围绕教育领域创新开展一番讨论了。 教育领域面临的最大挑战是什么,又有哪些解决方案正在路上? 谁来负责重塑有缺陷的教育制度? 虽然教育制度的相关问题来自多个维度,但有件事情我们是能够确信的:要想改变社会,就得从教育后代开始做起,而这正是现在所发生的事情。


数字化 在教育领域,“大规模开放式在线课程”(MOOCs)的兴起是一大热门话题。 数字时代为信息访问带来了前所未有的便利度。所有年龄段的学生都能获得比以往任何时候更多的信息,还能获得世界上最优质的教育资源(只要那些最优秀的教育者愿意在网上发布他们的课程)。

Khan Academy, EdX和 Coursera都是正在快速扩张的教育组织,在优质教育内容的支持下,它们在新兴市场大举竞争,但其营收却不是非常稳定。 这些组织所集合了来自不同背景的顶级教师及教授,为学生提供教学大纲、家庭作业、学习聊天组,以及即时视频讨论。

学生不必按照固定的时间表完成课程。 如果学生发现自己晚上的学习效率更好,那么他们都能这样做。 如果学生需要重复学习的话,他们能以10秒为单位随意回滚视频,直到完全理解老师说了什么说。 这种学习模式也带来了缺点,过多的灵活性让学生很难获得激励去完成学习任务。 更重要的是,在学习过程中,触觉对于激励心智发展来说几乎是不可替代的。
国际化 最迷人的教育改革运动往往不在传统组织中发生。 在高等教育方面,凯基的Minerva学校引发了一场教育风暴,今年一年内获得了超过16,000份入学申请,而该学校拥有306个教学点。

每年,Minerva学校的学生都会前往一个新的国家,在世界各地不同的城市背景下完成他们的本科课程:伊斯坦布尔,伦敦,旧金山,柏林,首尔,班加罗尔。 大学教育的“去中心化”直到最近才得以实现。 而“间隔年”则是另一个快速增长的教育创新空间。 摆脱了K-12或高等教育体系的限制,学生们能够利用“间隔年”的时间来重塑自己的生活,探索能够真正激励、挑战并鼓舞他们的事情。

剑桥的“冬季全球技能”计划,通过在学生们的“间隔年”旅行过程中教授给他们现实世界技能,为应对现实世界的挑战做好准备。 参加这一计划的学生每周都会前往一个新的地方,从海洋保护,到运营餐馆,再到拍摄纪录片,并从这些经历中学习.
个性化 那些对实体教育创新感兴趣的人,会发现当前最高素质学校中出现的“教育个性化”浪潮相当鼓舞人心。

圣地亚哥的“高科技高”计划开设了一家基于抽签制度的公立特许学校, 该学校99%的毕业生都能进入大学。 作为一个几乎没有教科书的学校,他们强调教育的个性化,多样性,协作性,以及对于工作期望(甚至是成年人级别的期望值)。这些特色对他们的K-12学生产生了深远影响。

“高峰公立学校”拥有先进的软硬件,在社会及情感学习的框架内为其学生开发高度个性化的学习计划。 在高科技的帮助下,学校能够辨别出学生的学习在什么时候会落后,学生什么时候会需要老师的帮助,应该如何(以及何时)寻求更多的高质量教育信息。 很明显,这种技能与21世纪的工作需求联系日益紧密。


Mark Esposito, 剑桥大学商法学院研究员。